It’s Been Emotional

30 06 2015

It has, to be fair. These past… 5 years? Give or take. There’s been ups, downs, lefts, rights, wrongs, and squiggly motion that kinda makes you wanna throw up.

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20 06 2015

As ever, beyond the respite of everything being well… things have (as they have a habit of doing) gone a fair bit Pete Tong within the confines of my cranium.

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Ignore This One As Wel

12 03 2015

Can’t quite think straight.

Using damagingly loud music to try and distract from the static between my ears.

I don’t want to commit suicide.
But I desire to commit suicide.

Does that make sense?

Maybe it’s my ego scared of death. Maybe I’m too fucked up to realise what the hell is going on with me. Narcissism valuing myself higher than I consciously value myself. How fucking twisted.

Such a fucking idiot

No change there

Hold it together and lose it in the same self absorbed package. No wonder I’m writing this drivel

Stupid head. Should have been starved of oxygen ages ago (38 years ago tbh)


Ignore This One

7 03 2015

I planned my death today.

I know what I want to do, I know how I want to distribute the ephemera I’ve managed to amass over time, I even worked out how to inform the (in my mind) correct people.

Nothing is going to happen for a short while but it’s something that’s been occupying my mind more and more recently. Will anything come of it? Unlikely, but it keeps playing through my mind.

Why am I writing about it? I don’t think anyone likely to read this can do anything, I think it’s more a case of writing therapy… not sure why but… *shrugs*

Another Random Update

13 02 2015

Holy crap! It’s been a while since I was last scrawling my thoughts across the digital ether. Seems to be I only do it when things have gotten decidedly worse and I can’t open up to friends and family.

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Random Update #324562

16 09 2014

It’s the wee hours of the morning (about 3am) and… sleep is being a tad weird. I am sleeping, it’s just happening at times I wasn’t expecting. Guess an update on the whole me issue might bore me enough to get me back to sleep

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Social (not) Nicities

3 09 2014

*sigh* OK, it’s clear that I’m on that slippery slope into one of my lows. One of the key features of this time is that I tend to isolate myself, so I decided to try to head this off by getting into social situations. Not entirely sure why I thought this was a good idea but hell, if you’ve tried things one way and it doesn’t work, may as well try it another.

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