Bouncy Bouncy Part 2

12 06 2010

It’s weird yanno, this whole thing. I can’t explain what’s going on because I’m a bit clueless myself. I know it’s a place I don’t really want to be because I’m self medicating (Carlsberg Export – Works for me… not exactly the best advertising slogan but yanno, put a couple of scantily clad women on the screen with it and it’s a good as the Lynx ads).

At the moment I’m watching the film ‘It’s All Gone A Bit Pete Tong’, good film, I like it. Course it’d be better if when it has the star saying ‘I’m 38..’ I don’t immediately think ‘I don’t want to reach 38, I really really really don’t wanna reach 38′. But such is my life.

I no longer have the thoughts I used to have when I was depressed, it’s now more intense, more mixed, it’s… just… more. And I honestly don’t know how much I can take. I’m not as strong as I used to be, the meds took care of that. Am I up? Am I down? I don’t know, the joy of fucking mixed episodes. I really really really fucking hate this.

I’m not drinking cuz I want to, the desire has passed. I drink because I feel it’s my only way to cope right now. Would sleep if I could but too much energy for that. Ah bollocks to it

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