Fear The Chance

1 03 2011

I was watching TV and it was an episode of Scrubs where JD thinks about Elliott being proposed to and, as is the way of the world, I got to thinking. Life is full of missed chances, of unrequited loves, of moments denied. Why? A few times it’s we’re not paying attention at the time, most of the time it’s probably because we’re afraid.

If you’ve seen the film ‘The Invention of Lying’ then two things may have struck you

1) Why on earth did I watch that? It wasn’t that good.

and;

2) If people were more honest with each other then the world would be a better place.

Problem is that how would you feel if you turned around and said to someone ‘I love you, I really love you and I want to be with you’? I gotta admit that it takes balls to do that regardless of other factors because you’re putting yourself out there on a limb, being as vulnerable as it’s possible to be. So fear steps in and it tends to be only those times when we feel safe or when our inhibitions are reduced (thanks to alcohol usually) when we can let these things out. Fear can be a good thing as it keeps us safe from harm, be it physical, mental, or emotional.

But fear can be bad.

Fear of being hurt stops us from doing things, sometimes it’s not till later that we understand that the fear started issues by creating moments of ‘What if..’ that can plague us for life. How can we expect to happy in ourselves if we continue in this style? Aren’t we in danger of becoming emotionally stunted? Of having issues later in life which will cause problems for us and those who are close to us?

A solution is needed. Alcohol leads to fun times but then lets face it, becoming an alcoholic is never a good life choice, so it’s time to look for something else. Anxiety and fear go hand in hand and that we all have a level of anxiety which means we have an in-built fear of being hurt. So by tackling this anxiety we should be capable of making those decisions in a manner which allows us to be, not happy as such but, satisfied and content that we made the right decision.

So… how? Well, a method that intrigues me and I’m hoping to give a good try at is Katie Goode’s ‘Be Extraordinary Today’ site. I’m not saying this is the solution to all your woes but then we all have to start somewhere and I think that this could be a good place. Having interacted with Ms Goode a few times (don’t be dirty now) I do get the feeling that she certainly has the skills and the desire to help people in this field.

So, you ready to be extraordinary? Do you believe you can be? I reckon so, let’s give it a go.

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4 responses

1 03 2011
Rachael Black

I agree Null.
Was in AA for 12 years, then slipped 4 years ago.
One of the important things I learned is that anger is really fear, and to look at our motives when angry.
The other is that change is the most frightening thing in the world. At least for a lot of people.

I think that it gets worse as we mature and/or get older.

Honesty is always best and now when I make a mistake, or hurt someone else I make amends right away.
And amends or not really saying ‘I’m sorry.’ Making amends means we try to change that behavior towards the person.

Am off to check out the website you linked. thank you!

1 03 2011
Katie Goode

Thanks for the recommendation Null! I really appreciate it. It’s so important to pay attention to fear, to not try to avoid it. Like you said, not all fear is bad – it’s what stops us from sticking our hands in the flame. When we pay attention to it, we start to realize “this fear is telling me there’s danger, but that doesn’t mean I can’t proceed with caution.” After all, without fear we wouldn’t have courage šŸ™‚

1 03 2011
Rachael Black

Very true Katie

2 03 2011
nullfuture

See, knew I’d signed up to the right person šŸ™‚ It’s going to be interesting

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