Fine Tolerances

13 07 2011

Can’t believe I’ve been without internet for about three weeks now. Hooray for offline editing! Anyway, plenty of catching up to do so whilst I do that, here’s a blog post for you to read.

So, if you’re reading this it’s a safe bet that you know someone with mental health problems. How intimately you know them is not really the point for this… but I digress.

My question to you is, how tolerant are you of them?

Everyone has their own little quirks and foibles and we put up with quite a few of them otherwise we wouldn’t get along with anyone. However, when someone has mental health things going on as well, these quirks and foibles can be… amplified/worse/down right weird (delete as applicable). It’s part and parcel of mentalism otherwise it wouldn’t be mentalism. That doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing in itself but it can be annoying to those who know us.

Ok, you encounter someone who annoys you with a habit or mannerism. Obviously, for most people, this is what you will see and you will then label that person as annoying. Now what if someone says that the person has bipolar, borderline personality disorder, schit… bugger that, I always spell it wrong. But you get the point. How do you view them now? Are you more tolerant of their behaviours? Does it matter what that habit is or is it an across the board judgement?

Yup, I know plenty of people in the same category as me, at least to some degree, and I know their behaviour. Do I give them more leeway than others? Not really. This is because I’m quite tolerant of most peoples behaviour. Hell, I’d be a hypocrite n a half if I wasn’t as I can be quite annoying, especially when going through hypermania.

However, if someone does annoy me then I’m quite egalitarian about it. Annoying is annoying. You either let them get away with it because the rest of them is not annoying, or you don’t go near them.

I’ll admit that I don’t get people who change their attitude when told of someones diagnosis. To me this says that their attitude was wrong in the first place. Perhaps it’s a case of using the diagnosis as an excuse, as in “Oh they’re like that because they have X. It’s not their fault.”. I see this as a bit of a stigmatising view because it’s like I’ve got an excuse to be that way when no-one ‘normal’ has.

Hmm, a alternative way of seeing this could be the wheelchair user who rams you in the back of the legs. If you turn round and instead of being angry you apologise and move out the way, then what the hell are you doing? If someone not in a wheelchair had shoved you, would you apologise and move out the way?

Maybe that’s a touch extreme but it shows the same attitude.

Right, time to get to the point before I belabour it.

If someone annoys you then they annoy you. Simple. Don’t feel the need to excuse behaviour, if you wish to label someone as an asshole then do so. Just shows you’re not that tolerant. And that annoys me.

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3 responses

13 07 2011
Turquoise

Heyup, good to hear you’re back in the real world ;P.

not sure if you’d intended it, but this seems to fit in well with WillFindHope’s Blog Carnival theme of Stigma & Discrimination. http://willfindhope.wordpress.com/2011/07/01/blog-carnival-of-mental-health-announcement-stigma-discrimination/ Let her know!

13 07 2011
nullfuture

Nope I’d not intended it but I shall certainly have a look.

Thank you for the welcome back 🙂 and this is the real world, at least to me 😉

30 07 2011
July’s Mental Health Blog Carnival: Stigma & Discrimination « Behind the Façade

[…] Future asks us how tolerant we are of people with mental illness: So, if you’re reading this it’s a safe bet that you know someone with mental health problems. […]

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