Emotion Sickness

4 08 2011

Ilve been waiting for the time when I feel low to strike and I think it has done just that. A good thing as it means I’m kinda getting a feeling for how my moods go, but also a bad things as you now get to read a moany type post.

You have been warned.Each and every time I get this low I become unstable, emotionally speaking, and I end up getting huge waves of grief pour over me for no apparent reason. After examining the hindsight sponsored replay, all I can think of is that it’s maybe a sense of how bad things are.

Seems I’m not alone in the feeling like absolute crap / emotional pinball / someone not really in anything that could be deemed ‘control’. The likes of Zoe Smith, nuttylotte and roseyleeee (all their Twitter names so go follow them) are having hard times with things at the moment. It would be fair to say they are probably having a worse time of it than me, as are many others who I don’t know / have forgotten to mention (appologies).

Of course the strange part about all of this is that each and every one of us is not too fussed about our fate but we’ll be damned if we’re gonna let others go through the same thing, as exampled by the support going between nuttylotte and Tiny Ratty (hadn’t forgotten you Amy).

Yet still the emotions are raw, we behave in our own particular ways, skirting things, being obnoxious, cutting off from people or straight cutting yourself. Pick your flavour of self punishment or coping.

And still the hurt goes on inside

I’m getting sick of feeling this way which is not a good thing for me as I deal better with the depression than I do the highs. Times like this I revisit the notion of having excess ECT so it fries my brain. At least then people would still have me about and I wouldn’t have to feel anything.

Surely a win / win situation for everybody.

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One response

4 08 2011
roseyleeee

ECT has been known to induce Mania in those with Bipolar. So best not to have that when you consider you hate being out of control manic? http://www.jmedicalcasereports.com/content/3/1/94
Said it before and will say it again, if you need me i am here. I will not lose you or anyone to mental illness. Oh and yes, i would rather you be mental and yourself than not mental and someone other than you. Call me if YOU need to talk. Anytime. xx

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