Quick Notice

27 08 2011

Just a quick note to say that I won’t be updating this blog for an undetermined amount of time. The reason for this is that I’m not coping at all well and am waiting for a referral to my Community Mental Health Team.

No, I don’t think they’ll be of much help but then it’s been suggested trying would be a very good idea.

Am I safe? Honestly? No, I’m feeling more and more unstable and suicidal as time ticks by but then… I dunno. That’s just the way it is. Don’t worry about me, no matter what happens, the people I love know I love them and always will.

Not really winning the arguement for not worrying am I? But I’m a gutless fucker so I doubt I’ll do anything bad.

Even if I did then it’s just another mistake erased so it’s not something to be sad about. Least that’s my perspective.

I’m gonna shut up now as I’m just digging a big fucking hole. In my absence I just want everyone to be honest and open. If you’re like me and using the word ‘fine’ for describing how you are when the very last thing you are is fine, please stop. It doesn’t help, hasn’t helped me.

Null

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7 responses

27 08 2011
Zoë Smith

I’m a bit useless at the moment (on account of being not fine at all) so just going to send some useless ((hugs)). I hope you get something out of CMHT. Hang around on twitter if you feel able.

Much love

Zoe
Xxx

27 08 2011
BPClaire

((HUGS))

27 08 2011
supposedrecovery

You dont know me but wanted to send (((((hugs)))). .. Too many of us struggling right now xxx

27 08 2011
Pandora

*massive hugs*

I wish I could do something, Null. Platitudes are a pile of shite, but I do care. So, to that pathetic end, please try and stay safe.

Thinking of you, mate

Pan xxx

27 08 2011
Rachael Black

Sorry hun. I’m sending Hugs as well.

Don’t stay away from your blog too long. I may not comment much but I DO read your posts. Am on my own ledge with suicide (again) that is keeping me from posting on my own blog, as well as others. Telling myself for the last two months that if I can make it to Burning Man again this year I’ll be renewed, even for a month or so, is reason to stay around.. Wish me luck.
If I don’t make it through after the Burn due to the depression and constant increasing pain from back surgery 5 months ago I will have to check myself into the puzzle house (again). Feel your pain, literally. Take care of yourself. BE GOOD to yourself.
xo

27 08 2011
theurbanworrier

even these few words were painful to read, it must be *terrible* to be behind it.
*make* cmht work for you. you clearly care enough to be trying (even if it doesn’t feel like it). sorry, trying to give you something but it’s all a bit lame. we do know where you’re at, and want with all we have for you not to be there.
your advice on ‘fine’ was brilliant, btw!

28 08 2011
Anonymous

Be safe sweetheart and I hope you get well soon, my thoughts are with you!
I sent you a message on Twitter today to see how you are but, alas you are not there.
I hope that the CMHT help atleast in some way.
I hope to see you on Twitter soon.

With Love and (((Hugs))) Lainie (triplecrow) x x x

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