S.O.Shit

26 10 2011

It has been pointed out that I may be, how shall I put this… to quote myself, as stable as a one legged man on marbles. Just for reference, marbles is not a new designer drug that all the hip people are doing in order to blank out how terrible their life is… or how absolutely banal their very existence is. Relevance? None but I just thought I should mention that.

Where was I? Umm, ok, think I remember…ish.

People are concerned about me. I… don’t know what to say. I really don’t. I’m guessing that they are gleaning information from things I’m writing which makes me think that I shouldn’t be writing such things. However I will continue because I wanna write.

Sounds like a self-defeating exercise doesn’t it. Me writing I mean. At least I think it does. Does it?

Anyway, the point is that should I desire help for whatever is happening right now, all I have to do is ask for help. At which point we hit a problem.

Strange as it may sound, not quite as strange as the mating call of the walrus (go YouTube it if you want, I can wait), whilst I can talk about the concept of asking for help, I cannot then interpret it to my situation. Makes fuck all sense to me. Don’t worry, agreeing with me doesn’t mean you’re as mad as me, even crazy people can be right once in a while.

I don’t know what will happen when I wake up, as I’m getting pretty damn tired atm, will I experiment some more? Will I stay tucked up in bed? You get the idea without me labouring the point in my usual style. Suffice to expectorate that I don’t know what’ll happen tomorrow… or later today, depends how technical you wanna get on the point.

One thing I know is that I probably won’t say those three words (I don’t mean “I love you” as I’m probably overly keen on saying that) as I can’t. The only thing I can express is don’t want drugs or bin time. Are these things exactly what I need? You won’t hear it from me that’s for sure.

Has this made any sense? Pass. Enjoy. Gnite/Morning

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8 responses

26 10 2011
roseyleeee

I have nothing to say.

Goodnight.

26 10 2011
NullFuture

😥

26 10 2011
NullFuture

I think I need help

26 10 2011
outwardlyintrovert

You don’t know me from Adam (not sure when Adam got involved but yeah) but… how are you doing this evening? Read this and felt concern, cos I know how hard it is to say “I need help”, especially when you’ve got to the point you’re not really sure you can be “helped” or what “help” it would be, etc.

Drugs + bin time is not fantastic, I know, but there could well be other alternatives.

outwardly x

26 10 2011
theurbanworrier

No Null, don’t stop from talking; you need to. Fact you’ve asked for help here (rather than in A&E, on twitter or whatever)- do you know what you need?
Do people who have immediate access to you know what’s going on (I don’t twitter, use email much, etc- all I can say is on blogs and hoping to see you in November..)?

28 10 2011
Charlotte Ross

I think asking for help is about the hardest thing to do ever. As is explaining what you need – when I most need help, I’m least able to ask for it. I hope that when you do feel that things are sliding, that you can find the words & support you need.

X
Charlotte

28 10 2011
amyjosprague

Well I don’t entirely know your situation, just getting into your blog. But my take on you is different. You’re an excellent, witty writer with intelligence. I bet sarcasm truly saves your ass from yourself sometimes–I know it does for me. Stay witty and never stop writing. Curious about you 🙂

28 10 2011
NullFuture

Think this needs expressing in a new blog post so… yeah, tune in later

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