What The FIGO?

28 10 2011

Oh the joys of being me. The past week has been… interesting I guess, if you’ve been reading this blog recently you probably get the idea. Of course there is a burning question to be asked, and that question is;

What the fuck is going on?

It’s fair to say I’ve been unstable for the past few days, possibly going a bit manic and then going the other way in very rapid succession. Now, this is either my bipolar screwing about, or my personality disorder screwing about. Or it could be a combination of the two trying to clothesline my concious mind like a pro wrestling tag team breaking all the rules to make a point.

Whatever it is, it’s very confusing. Perhaps I shouldn’t have declared myself out of the depression so quickly although I get the feeling I wasn’t wrong, I just wasn’t prepared to go boingy boingy in my head for a while. If you remember my whiteboard thing (in theory there are more to come) then ok, I was expecting to go a bit high and then come back down but this has been a bit fucking ridiculous.

Reading back the stuff that I wrote is a bit embarrassing as people were getting worried and I was getting it all out there in public. Apologies to those who did worry, I’m not going to declare myself ‘fine’ but steps are going to be taken to see if that’s not an impossibility at this juncture. So thank you for the kind words and interest. And special thanks to my FUA who I managed to piss off quite a bit, they may deny it but it’s true, yet stayed in touch.

What happened? Really don’t know, wish my head came with a black box so every time I crashed like this someone could sift through the wreckage of my latest adventure and see where things went wrong. As in the normal world, it’d probably point to human error being the cause, very probably mine.

Urgh, I will probably get a couple of blog posts out of this adventure so I won’t prattle on too much. I will say that I have a 4cm long scab on my wrist from the experiment which prevented further exploration for the moment, and I seem to be eating a fair amount after going without food or water for nearly two days. Kinda shows things were a bit fucked up huh.

What now? Damned if I know but hopefully the weekend will pass without major incident and then, in theory, and thanks to FUA, steps should be being taken, as mentioned before.

Ok, will leave it there for now, and will try not to be so… public next time.

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2 responses

28 10 2011
roseyleeee

Hang on in there. Argh bugger, that’s the wrong thing to say to you!! Lol just keep on, keeping on. I think its fair to say there is more than just me looking out for u and no it ain’t the messiah. Lots of people care. Xx

29 10 2011
Pandora

No advice, lovely Null, but sending hugs and every good wish, for what they’re worth. ❤ xxx

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