God Helps

1 11 2011

Those Who Help Themselves. Or we could call this post ‘The Hardest Four Letter Word To Say’.

Ok, fuck it, lets get down to it.

So, yesterday, Friend of Uber Awesomeness and I visited my GP to see about what could be done for me. Why did I need FUA to accompany me? Because I had no idea what to say.

Feel so fucking stupid writing this as I sound like a complete fucking idiot. Btw, if you’re wondering why all the swearing, I’m feeling a bit hacked off at the moment for no reason that springs instantly to mind. Anyway, getting back to it.

I have zero faith that what FUA and myself went to the GP for will actually evolve into anything resembling something of use. This isn’t just because my GP, whilst being lovely, is fairly useless in certain aspects and so gives inaccurate advice, but because I have an inbuilt and unshakeable feeling that there’s absolutely nothing that’ll change what’ll happen. That I am beyond redemption.

Feel free to disagree and I’ll feel free to disagree with you.

As the title says, God (should you believe in him/her/it) helps those who help themselves. Why? Because you have to actively seek help from the various services. And then I said ‘The Hardest Four Letter Word To Say’. Like I said before, I can’t, for some reason, apply that word to me despite having written it a few times already. So me asking for… that word isn’t happening as such, I’m relying on my FUA which I don’t wanna do because I feel guilty about putting her through it. Thus why I feel pathetic.

Ho hum. Thirty days. Oh yeah, thirty days. Ah fuck, it doesn’t matter. Go about your business.




One response

1 11 2011

call yourself a narcissist? you should be demanding/expecting the world on a plate… 😛
seriously, really interested to hear how this goes. the asking/getting help stuff is something we all seem to have problems with. *any* insights you glean, even if you can never say the word, will be doing a service to humanity. make that your research mission, aye?

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