Well It Can All Fuck Off

6 01 2012

I like doing these blog posts in the wee small hours as my brain is usually more alive at these times anyway. So what am I whinging about now? Oh just the annoying back n forth n round n round of my existence. 

What do I mean?

To be honest, I’ve been seeing parts of the old me coming back, the interest in car projects (design of new ones and the play about of designing extreme versions of existing models), the whole walk idea (it’s for charity doncha know), it’s even time when I can apply for my driving license (my ban should be up in less than a month now).

But none of this will happen.

“Why not?” is the obvious question, and the simple answer is that there’s no point. Not a good enough answer? Hmm, ok, there’s no point because I’m never going to;

a) get a job designing cars
b) be able to afford to build my own cars either new or modified existing
c) be able to afford to do the walk, there are still bills etc I have to take care of which takes money and that’s something I don’t have
d) afford to get my license back. Yes, driving was my biggest passion and I know it’s still something I’m good at, but the cost to get it back is too much for me.

Sounds like my main problem is money huh, nothing a quick lottery win couldn’t sort eh? I don’t enter the lottery and I very much doubt I’d win anything significant enough anyway. Thing is that I need to accept my limitations, and whilst my limitations this time are financial rather than anything else, that’s what I’ve got to work with.

Yeah, it’s never that simple, is it. Whilst I accept my limitations, I’m not exactly happy about it, to the point where I sit here typing away and I’m kinda annoyed, bordering on angry. So as the title of this blog post says, it can all fuck off. I’ll stick with some of the things I’m doing but I think it’s more a case of winding things up.


And then I can disappear for a while or longer. Happy days.




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