Another Random Title For A Blog Post Because I Can’t Think Of A Better One

17 01 2012

I… think it’s fair to say that I’ve been struggling for a few days at least, my blatherings on here and on Twitter probably make it obvious. Time to put a new spin on things so you don’t think I’m suicidal or depressed or hate my life completely n wish I’d never been born.

Ok, I lied, I can’t do that because for the majority of my life, as in the past sixty percent of it, I’ve wished that I’d never been born. And no, there’s no reason for me to change that outlook because all this shit in my head isn’t lessening.

Oh so happy go lucky aren’t I.

Ah well, the vicarious amongst you will be relishing the latest update on the epic bowl of shit that is my existence. Note I don’t say ‘life’ because that would imply a degree of living whereas I purport to merely be existing. Sort of like a goldfish in a very small bowl. It ain’t a life, it’s just an existence and I gotta tell you, that goldfish wants to jump out of that bowl because even if it kills it, that would at least be a brief glare of life and no return to just existing.

I know, I know, poor me, isn’t my life so fucking hard. Right pity party isn’t it. There’s people out there worse off than me. Not something I can comment on because I can’t empathise with them so for all I know they could be doing alright despite all the shit that’s happened to them.

Ah well. Going back to that goldfish that’s jumped out of the bowl, I have glimpses of living, things which make me happy, such as watching the TV show Chuck (if you haven’t seen it then shame on you), or more importantly meting up with Friend of Uber Awesomeness. Of course whilst there is going to be a downside to this because… well… this is me, if it were all positive then I wouldn’t be me would I. The downside is that I can only keep up with ‘living’ for so long, there comes a time when I struggle to function in what would be deemed a normal way. And that’s when things turn a bit shit and it becomes obvious that I’m in no way normal, even for those who think they’re weird. Spend a short time with me and I’m a good person, spend more than that and I fail on pretty much most counts.

I struggle to be human I guess.

Too much of a needy twat without a clue as to how to interact.

Story of my… existence I guess.




3 responses

17 01 2012

For goodness’ sake man get a grip. Nope that won’t work. Just have this: ((((hug))))

17 01 2012

This. *hugs* from me too.

20 01 2012

I dunno what to say. Part of me is grateful, the other part wants to run away from your words fast as can. So I’m a bit stumped

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