What Did You Do Today?

5 03 2012

Get me, blogging again! Cor, it’s almost like I’m doing it on purpose! It’s not, I’m just doing it because I want/need to. Anyway, today I saw an actual psychiatrist!

Well, I say I saw a psychiatrist but I didn’t ask for proof of qualifications etc so I’m taking it on CMHTs word that he is/was what he porported to be. This was of note as I haven’t seen a psychiatrist for at least three months, and a few things have happened in that time.

I think I might have stated elsewhere, probably on Twitter (follow me and boost my ego… pwetty pwease), that I wanted this meeting to be quick, clean, and simple. No hassle. Did I get that? Well, I wasn’t anywhere near as arguementative as I am normally predisposed to be. You can see the word ‘but’ hanging in the ether can’t you. In this case the but means that I was still introducing the odd bit of exasperated harshness, but we’ll get to that. As such, it started off alright, then we got involved with catching up which wasn’t something I liked and stumbled through. Yes, I’m skipping over it because I struggle to remember stuff. Then we got down to business, at least the business I wanted and the referral to psychology is happening (at last).

Feel like a break? Go ahead, I won’t mind. When you get back we’ll get to the crux of things.

*hums to self and twiddles thumbs*

Ok, let’s get back to it.

Once the whole psychology thing was sorted (wisely with no promises of dates), I asked for a script for Quetiapine as I’m not having the best of times with racings thoughts as part of my elevated mood. When questioned about why I wanted it, I explained about how the thoughts etc are being too intrusive and I’m self medicating with alcohol. A discussion ensued about my previous experience with the medication and how 800mg of the slow release version worked for me. This confused my doctor as he stated that in his opinion I don’t have Bipolar (I managed not to argue the point although I did make a mildly pointed comment, after we both agreed that personality disorders don’t really respond well to medication, about how it had worked for me). Suffice to say that because he believes I only have a personality disorder which wouldn’t respond to meds and also my emotionality (I think that’s what he said, his accent and my hearing conspired to bugger that up) wasn’t out there enough, he refused the script.

So where am I now? Sat tapping away at the keyboard to write this whilst finishing the dregs of the second can of cider of the day. They seem to be lasting about five hours although there have been various intense discussions which is probably making me think more than healthy for me (my mothers blind faith that politicians must be doing what’s right for the people is particularly lamentable). And so I needed to get this out there before my head buries the body of what happened and I end up with the psychological equivalent of a rotting corpse in the back garden that the dog keeps digging up. Hopefully the thoughts will slow down a bit more soon as all this alcohol is making me poor…er.

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7 responses

5 03 2012
Zoë Smith

My oh my, they never cease to amaze me.

Cos you don’t got ‘what you experience in yer head’ on paper, you don’t get the drugs that might help your head? Drugs that you reported have helped your head in the past?

Psychiatrist logic.

Keep drinking Null, get yourself a nice co-morbid alcohol dependency then they can try and shift your ‘care’ *dies laughing* to another team.

Fuck them all *hands you matches*.

Let’s burn the world.

Xxx

5 03 2012
NullFuture

Well, the way I look at it, my diagnosis is now in the hands of the psychologists. I won’t bother with psychiatrists unless I have to. Will just try to manage things in my way and if I become dependent then such is life. Just another fun ball thing to add in (hopefully soon I won’t need to but hey, mood swings aren’t terribly predictable).

5 03 2012
jermec

Surprised at the script refusal, given that it helped you before, albeit in a hefty dose (could that be why it worked for you and your personality disorder? That you had a bucketload?)
Well at least it didn’t end up in a stand up row or bloodshed. There’s always something good to take away from these things.

5 03 2012
NullFuture

Well it’s either cost measure or just him defying logic. Ah well, didn’t know 800mg was heavy dose, done 600 n 300 too.

Yeah, guess that’s one good thing… Maybe not, a row would’ve been fun at least

5 03 2012
roseyleeee

Hey You!! It seems you may have finally got the therapy winging its way to you, albeit slowly. Yay!

Not sure why you went straight in for top dose straight away?? 800mg standard quetiapine is top whack. That dose sucks donkeys bollocks. 800mg xl has been ditched (by the pct for northants, as its too expensive and doesn’t really provide any extra symptom relief. However Xl is much much more tolerable than standard Q and side effects are a little more Subtle.

I still wonder why benzos never get mentioned with you? Lorazapam is really good. Mmmm mmmm I know they are short term answers but so is alcohol.

Hope to see you next week. Love youuuuuu

6 03 2012
NullFuture

I thought I had previously been 800mg but now you say that, maybe I got it wrong, would’ve been 600mg then. Bugger, either way, I got ramped up to it and it worked for me. Would’ve been ok with the stock version over the extended release as I don’t have a job to go to now.

Benzos.. I dunno, think I’d decline them tbh, bit wary of them, will stick with alcohol for now.

As for next week, sure, no worries, let me know what day n can go from there

7 03 2012
roseyleeee

Re the ditching by pct, Xl quetiapine in general it was meant to say not the 800mg dose specifically.

Fingers crossed Monday next week??

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