It’s Only A Dream

9 07 2012

I’ve been wanting to blog for a while now but all my ideas have been a bit crap so I’ve deleted them. Anyway, the subject of this next one is a little dark so consider this a warning – Do NOT continue if you don’t want to read about nasty stuff.

Are you sure you want to continue?

Well, unless the formatting of this has gone well and truly out the window, you wish to continue then so be it. Here we go.

For the past couple of days I’ve been having dreams and fantasies about killing two people I know. I’m not talking about subtle deaths nor am I talking about full on Freddy and/or Jason stuff, more the level of Michael Myers but without the crap mask and the need to hide.

In the interest of being open and honest, this certainly isn’t the first time I’ve entertained such thoughts about these two individuals. What’s different this time is the relentless nature of the thoughts and the intensity of them. By that I mean the thoughts and dreams have gone into more detail such as what would happen. More disconcerting for me is that they feel more… I dunno, more real I guess.

Am I likely to do it? Probably not, anything is possible but it’s unlikely. Kinda makes me smile the thought of it, certainly wouldn’t shed a tear for them. Just thought it was of note about the intensity of the thoughts. As for the reasons… I know why I have these thoughts, nothing more complex than they piss me off to that level, what I don’t know is why they’ve become so strong. Yeah, I may be over analysing everything but such is my way.

Guess I should stop there huh.

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2 responses

9 07 2012
Karen

I’m no stranger to fantasising about hurting people that I don’t like, but that’s just it: fantasy. You’re obviously concerned about this – I don’t know if I’d take my own advice, but is it worth talking to your psychiatrist? An I right in thinking you still have one?

10 07 2012
NullFuture

Yup, I still have a psychiatrist, haven’t seen him in a while but such is life.

I think I was more caught out by the intensity than anything else, I’m ok with the fantasies themselves. Do I wish to talk to my psych about it? No, if it continues then I will but I don’t think it’s a cause for major concern as yet. Guess it reinforces my desire to change my circumstances somewhat.

Nothing new really

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