Thinking… Still

19 11 2012

I’m… I dunno, hard to say. Contemplative may be the most appropriate out of the myriad of possibilities. Of course what this really means is I’m thinking a lot and inevitably those thoughts will go onto my mental health.

There have been a couple of prompts in the past few days to help things along. Getting very irritable and angry is certainly a big one, aside from harkening back to my previous post, it always makes me wary about my state.

As an aside, my levels of irritability and anger are still elevated (reminds me when I was younger when violence to inanimate objects ensued). It’s compounded a little by my lack of concentration, not easy to resolve this link in words but you quite possibly know what I mean. Ideas continue to stream forward (not as much fun as you may think when concentration is shot), and my spending has got a little… squiffy, although there’s been no big spends (much as I really really want to).

Anyway, back to where I was before one of my legendary asides.

Another prompt was the resurfacing in the media of Catherine Zeta Jones, actually talking about Bipolar. Nothing wrong with that as it was, according to reports, to help deal with the stigma surrounding mental illness. There were, however, one or two quotes which caused me… discomfort. Above all else, it was “I hope fellow sufferers know it is completely controllable”. Hmm, I guess when you have millions of dollars in the bank, it is fully controllable as you can afford whatever is necessary. The rest of us struggle to access effective treatment, so our conditions are often controlled either by sheer bloody mindedness or luck. But such is life, we just get on with it, keeping the turmoil under wraps.

My final prompt has been the annual TWIM Awards. No, I haven’t been nominated (I’d be very disappointed if I had been), but if I had, what category would I be in? Mood disorder? Personality disorder? Hell, it could be Not Otherwise Specified. Obviously this is all a prompt because between the Narcisisstic Personality Disorder, Bipolar 2, High Functioning Autism, and/or Aspergers, I have enough stuff to be getting along with. Course, were I to engage with talking therapies then maybe I’d receive a definitive diagnosis but my whole mindset is that bullshit one of “I’m not talking about this”. Any suggestions?

Whatever, it keeps my mind bouncing back and forth over things. Oh, and go vote for other blogs on the TWIM Awards.



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