Night On The Town Thoughts

8 12 2012

I’m surrounded by a sea of (apparently) happy. By that I mean I’m out with friends, pubbing and/or clubbing. Good tunes by good DJs pounding out of speakers at such an obscene volume it rocks my soul.

I guess the big question is, am I a part of the sea of happy or a lost soul clinging onto the life raft of verbosity? Not sure if that’s a rhetorical question because I’m here blogging about it. Why? Well….

I find the way I operate/function/do things like… odd. I can be all smiley n happy n enjoy things, but within a split second it’ll change and the happy go lucky part drains faster than the first pint (NB: I’m not drinking alcohol, I’m too much of an asshole drunk in public). Just find myself switching between this person enjoying things, and someone who feels utterly desolate. It’s almost like I’m two faced or I’m on one of the most surreal rollercoasters ever devised.

To be honest, most of my day has been like this today. It’s almost as if I haven’t consumed something essential (yes I’ve been eating n drinking). I dunno, my tooth owie is under control so I don’t think it’s that. *sigh* Think part of being whatever version of mental I am that gets me most is the unpredictable times like now, when it just hits hard and fast n I can’t shake it. I mean… I see my friends having issues and I can totally understand the flip, but I’m always left standing there thinking ‘I have no idea how to help’. Does anyone? If you do, please share as it’s not a fun feeling from either side.

Once again I’m losing track of where I was going with this which means it’s time to put a stopper on the metaphorical bottle. By the way, I’m not ignoring comments left so far, I’m having moments of “Yeah, I’ll respond to that comment” and then forget. Will try to get round to it. Hope you’re ok, yes really.

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2 responses

9 12 2012
jermec

Bumpy ride again for you. Float along with the good stuff, fight the bad off with sticks. Listen to loud bad music through it all.

9 12 2012
NullFuture

Trying to do the first bits. As for loud bad music, we’ve moved onto a 70s/80s bar so as I write this, Duran Duran – Reflex is playing… done deal

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