What Am I?

6 01 2013

I have, according to me, Bipolar Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Disorder. But that’s what conditions I have, not what I am.

Guess you could describe me as:

A subversive anarchist – I take a degree of enjoyment in the undermining of peoples concept of the norm. Guess this stems from me never really being close to normal, mixed with a little devious bastard.

An agnostic atheist – I don’t believe there’s a god but I can’t prove it. Just logical thinking

A flirt – Not as bad as I used to be, but yeah

A thinker – Some weird and wonderful stuff revolves around my brain, although I’m not too sure the standard definition of wonderful applies

Passively suicidal – I don’t always think of suicide in its many guises, but when I do, I like it. Not looking forward to death, never have, but I think this time round it’s about being tired of being me. I know what you’re thinking: ” How could someone as awesome as Null want to die?”. Ok, you probably weren’t thinking of it in those exact words but the answer to it is that I have nothing to offer the world, and it’s a world I’ve struggled to fit in, so respite from it would be much appreciated. I don’t belong here and I’m tired of trying to fit in, of fighting myself.

*sigh* There’s more ways to describe me, sure you have your own version, but when all is said n done, I’m a weirdo (something I’m ok with) who is his own worst enemy (something I’m not ok with)

Bollocks. This isn’t really sounding the way I’d like but I can’t express myself properly.



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