Missing: One Plot

17 02 2013

Barely used, much maligned, but missed all the same. My life hasn’t been the same since it disappeared so its return would be appreciated.

I’ve been stupid and I know it, skipping doses of my diazepam 5mg because I was feeling good and didn’t want the drowsiness that came with as it was playing merry hob with my sleep pattern.

So now here I am. I went to do the usual shopping for work stuff and ended up with a massive hit of anxiety I almost cried in the middle of a supermarket. Tried as much distraction as possible (music up load, moving fast, twitchy hand… ok that’s not distraction, more a side effect but anyway), got the shopping done fast as I could while doing the usual getting a little lost because I’m not sure what it is I want, then speed walked home.

And the net result? I took one dose of diazepam n ended up falling asleep. I then took another when things got bad again. Double dose I know but needs must etc.

Then we get the weird part of things. I’m not tired yet, brain is running fast, so now I’m ignoring accepted medical advice (at least what the leaflet says) and drinking alcohol. It’s already messing with my head so hopefully I can get some sleep which my let my head. It’s either that or I keep messing about with self harm (hitting myself in the head, poking myself with scissors or a fork… seemed a good idea at the time).

Screw it. Alcohol may have been a bad choice. We live n learn. Something like that

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