The Checklist

1 04 2013

There are always signs when things are going one way or another. Some are subtle and hard to spot, others are bloody obvious. Problem is that when they become bloody obvious, things may… be advanced.

My own checklist runs like this:

Tourettes style twitches (usually of head, the more intense means bad) – Check, including leg twitching (severity is there but not extreme)

Desire to be out of head – Check, started drinking at before 9am. Was only going to do it to take the edge off but… yeah.

Suicidal tendencies – Umm, we can call that a check

Self harm – *sigh* wish I could say no but yeah, check.

What does this all mean? Umm, nothing good. My cope is heading for the door and my mind is racing faster than… well, it’d have pole position even against the greats. I normally struggle through but it’s getting harder and harder.

I don’t know what I’m saying. I’m just talking and I don’t know why… or at least wouldn’t freely admit why.

Keep safe



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