Sifting Through The Rubble Part 2

29 05 2013

Ok, the last post ended up diverting from what I wanted to say/do so consider this an addendum that brings us back on track.

After some calming of the subconscious, and some sleep, I’m better equipped to tackle this.

Do, like I said before, there have been a couple of shifts that have unbalanced me.

When things get complicated, I struggle. This is usually because of human error, usually mine. I’m pretty good at reading signs and taking an educated guess as to what people are thinking. No, I’m not always right, but I’m right often enough to trust it. However, when people shift their thinking… I have no issue with that, but my subconscious does.

Can’t explain that, and it does cause problems for me because on the outside I can generally understand why, and accept it. Inside it tends to screw up my subconscious, and invariably it thinks the world has come to an end. This leaves me sifting through the rubble of its destructive path (see, there was a point to the title).

It’s not easy having a somewhat childish subconscious (my estimate would be pre teen, but where in that I don’t know) which is intelligent yet uncontrolled in itself, and lacking a lot of social skills. Over that is me, not quite as intelligent, a lot more articulate and better with social skills (although admittedly far from au fait with it all). The adult me is far more controlled than my subconscious, sometimes to excess, sometimes the other crashes the party and life gets…. interesting.

Thing is, when both parts work together, it’s…. pretty cool 🙂 If that happened more often than not then I’d be a very happy bunny, and I think (hope) that my subconscious would be too.

Of course, this is way easier said than done, hell, I have no idea where to begin. But I want to try, I very much want it to happen.

Until that does happen, I’ll continue to fuck up, likely in pretty monumental ways. And as my subconscious wreaks havoc, I’ll continue to sift through the rubble to rescue relationships and sanity (to varying degrees of success).

*Note* If anyone has any hints/tips on how to stop my subconscious going Godzilla on me, let me know, it’d be appreciated



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