Catching Up

20 06 2013

I keep trying to write something here, but every time I do…. I dunno, it flits away from my grasp and I end up deleting/abandoning it. This time, I don’t care how long it takes, I’ll finish it.

I’ve been… feeling sketchy, and I have a sneaking suspicion that it’s partly down to feeling a bit rough in general, but also partly down to some unresolved issues that I have. What issues? Well, knowing that part of me that likes to hide things from the rest of me, I’d say emotional issues.

I’ve been from pillar to post recently, and I’m…. I guess I’m struggling with the capricious nature of people. Normally I’m ok with such things, I’ve known many people with mental health issues who can change mind/mood, I do it. However, this is usually in a romantic way and…. *sigh*.

Ok, cards on the table. I have, as one friend put it, a bit of a fan club. Now… I know this is a male fantasy, having a gaggle of women who are interested, but…. I dunno. Just don’t feel like it at the moment, even my sex drive has tailed off significantly. Normally this means I’m depressed, and while I can feel the signs of depression, I still have quite good times. Perhaps there’s a part of me which has got in deep and been burned a little too often. Hell, starting to feel like Taylor Swift here (don’t worry, no singing will take place… unless you have Singstar. And alcohol). Of course I have to start thinking “Is it me?”, to which the answer is “Quite possibly”. Where I go from there is a mystery to me as I don’t know what it is about me that is dysfunctional…. in this case anyway.

With romance out of the way, we move onto other things. And it would be fair to say patience is still not one of my virtues. I mean, I’m wanting to do a lot of stuff which is fine, it’s just that I’m pushing myself when I know I should give myself room to breathe. Yeah, it’s not healthy, but it’s hard not to push myself. Spose what I should do is actually talk to myself and establish a sort of loose set of priorities, that should limit what I aim for at any one time… in theory.

What more is there to say? Oh, I has a new car which has improved things for me no end. Yes, a car can do that for me, not surprising considering how important driving is to me, and how bloody awful my last car was. This means that there’s a good chance I’ll be driving a fair bit, so if you want a visit, let me know as I’m always up for a long drive.

Anything else? Hmm… not right now, but probably towards the end of the month (or even the week) I may be in a position to update things more, but we’ll see.



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