Drunken Wishes

28 10 2013

I’m drunk. Ok, not shocking news but it bears mentioning before we go any further. Why am I drunk? Because it’s easier than coping with the shit that goes through my head at times like this. Who would’ve thought finding somewhere to live would be so stressful? Anyway…

I want you to listen to something before we go any further because it is very relevant and carries a message that is very familiar to me.

I’ve been here for my friends as much as I could be, providing as much support as I could coherently muster. To you guys I owe an apology, a double barreled apology as it were. I’m sorry I couldn’t do more, can’t describe how much I wish I could’ve done more, because life shouldn’t be as shitty as it is. Also I wish I knew what I was talking about whenever I’ve offered advice. Seriously, you guys have no idea how much I wing it. The vast majority of advice I’ve given has been based purely on what feels right than any sound base on experience or something useful.

I wish I could keep in touch with so many people, but I can never find the right words. Yes, I have a good brain on my shoulders, it’s a shame that very same good brain is so shit at functioning that I can’t get the right words out. That when I need to deliver that killer line, the words that may make everything better (even if only for a few seconds), it metaphorically looks at me, shrugs it’s equally metaphorical shoulders, and continually metaphorically says ‘I wasn’t prepared, I got nothing’.

All I have is these inebriated ramblings which tend to excel at verbosity, yet lack coherence, to say this;

You guys make me want to be a much better person than I currently am, a person I can never be because you deserve so much and I can deliver so little.

So very very fucking epically sorry

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One response

30 10 2013
jermec (@jermec)

Keep writing. Pissed or sober it’s always worth reading. I like your ramblings and they intrigue me. I’m a nosy person so I always want to read more. I hope it does help to write. Keep writing.

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