Sober Reflections

3 11 2013

This will likely only be put into the right context if you’ve read the previous post, Countdown To Destruction. You don’t have to read it but might help.

Anyway…

I’m awake, after consuming a fair amount of alcohol in short order, hugging the porcelain a bit, it’s not a surprise I slept. So now I can survey things.

It’s… times like this that I really question my place in this world. I feel like an outsider who is merely tolerated. Despite my desire to help my friends, I always seem to screw it up, quite impressively as a rule.

I mean seriously, what is the point of me? Can’t take it any longer. Yet I don’t know what else I can do. I suck at suicide. I suck at living. What the hell can I do? Rot in this shell and let everyone get on with it without me interfering. I don’t deserve friends because I don’t know how to treat them. Never had many friends. I… I just… I… am a shit friend

What more can I say? The obvious I guess. I’m not a shit friend…

I’m a shit person

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2 responses

5 11 2013
jermec (@jermec)

Dark place, dark times. Not funny. Not shit. Keep posting. Please.

7 11 2013
bpnana

I commend you for your honesty and sharing from both sides of the bottle. Been where you are countless times. You mentioned you’re an alcoholic. I am too. Welcome to the big club. You’ll never run out of friends. You’ve already got a lot of sober ones, You just have’t met them. Countless, with mental illness, and all the stuff that goes with. I like the ones who have mental illness. With so much insanity in their stories, too. Very interesting people. They made it out. You have choices. If you have DRA in your neighborhood, check it out, at least once. or call…Love

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