Random Update #324562

16 09 2014

It’s the wee hours of the morning (about 3am) and… sleep is being a tad weird. I am sleeping, it’s just happening at times I wasn’t expecting. Guess an update on the whole me issue might bore me enough to get me back to sleep

OK, that’s a tad harsh, but it may help as my brain is a bit too noisy for sleep so venting may help.

My social experiment thing continued and…. yeah. So now I’m relatively isolated, by my own choice, otherwise it’s just going to screw with my head… more than it’s being screwed with anyway.

I know this is going to be wishful thinking but it’d be awesome to not have the repetitive random thoughts which can’t help but be negative and of no bloody use to me. Yeah_ never gonna get rid of them, but less prevalence at 3 fucking AM would be nice.

*sigh* You ever think you may have a handle on this being mental thing? I’ve been doing this mental thing for over 20 years. People keep telling me I’m impressively open about it (of course you guys know the truth on that, everyone hides stuff). Yet… I dunno, just still feel I’m behind the curve on this.

I’m rambling aren’t I. It feels like I am, so I apologise for the boredom this is causing, well done you if you’ve got this far.

Anything else?

Oh, there’s the compulsion to tighten a belt around my neck. It’s only for a few seconds, and afterwards I feel more relaxed. The relaxed feeling, I think, is more about that feeling after venting you get when the pressure buildup in your head gets too much and you… know what I mean. Maybe I should get back to writing here when such things happen. OK, that would be infinitely more boring for you dear reader, but perhaps a tad more healthy for me…. maybe.

That’s all I can think of right now, let’s try for a touch more sleep before another day of interminable grind. Woo.

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2 responses

17 09 2014
H

*stalks you a bit*

18 09 2014
NullFuture

Whatever floats your boat, you’ll get bored tho

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