My Crisis Part 2

‘For the first time I tried suicide without the medication being responsible and it was scary. I set up the method, composed a text and sent it to the ones I care about, not my family as that wouldn’t be right (don’t ask), tightened the ligature as much as I could whilst the brief glare of “Please god someone help me” flashed through my mind. Then I waited and came to the realisation that whilst blood flow was restricted I could still breath. I had failed again, so I stood up, lost and despairing that I coudn’t do something so seemingly simple, and the staff found me like that.

Whilst I was preparing things I was shaking, this was real and I knew it and I was scared, but still I went ahead with it. Now I’m on the long term ward but that’s apparently not a bad thing even though I have no doubt that any hope I had of getting out of here any time soon have well and truly evaporated.

There still doesn’t seem to be any point to continuing. I have nothing, everything I do turns to shit and so I’m left with nothing but a bad taste in my mind. Really can’t justify being here, maybe I should discharge myself and take my chances out there.’

Next: Me Vs The World
Previous: Reflection

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